


单独在一起 (Dāndú zài yīqǐ Alone Together)

by XieLiansBambooHat



Category: Heaven's Official Blessing, tian guan ci fu, 天官赐福 - 墨香铜臭 | Tiān Guān Cì Fú - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Attempted Suicide, Future Romance, Hua Cheng just wants to protect his gege, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Most characters are probably gonna wind up ooc, Multi, No Beta, Self-Harm, Slow Burn, Xie Lian and Hua Cheng are sad bois, Xie Lian just wants someone to stay, possible future smut, we die like Hua cheng
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-11
Updated: 2019-09-11
Packaged: 2020-10-14 12:29:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20600804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/XieLiansBambooHat/pseuds/XieLiansBambooHat
Summary: So for the next chapter, I was thinking of either switching to Hua Chengs p.o.v to introduce him or continuing with Xie Lian working for SWD, SQX, and HX but idk which one to do or really where I want to go with this. If you guys who have read it have any suggestions leave them in the comments because feedback is greatly appreciated also if there are any typos lemme know so I can fix them. Thank you to everyone who has read this so far I love you all I never really expected anyone would read this at all due to my poor writing skills and inability to properly express things.





	单独在一起 (Dāndú zài yīqǐ Alone Together)

Creeaaak. SLAM!  
Xie Lian jolts in his bed trembling slightly as the realization slowly sinks in. Feng Xin has left him. Abandoned him in his time of need just as MuQing did before him. There wasn’t so much as a farewell to Xie Lian from Feng Xin before he left. Mu Qing at least had the dignity to save him some face and say goodbye instead of sneaking away in the middle of the night like some thief. 

He sighs and rolls around in his bed trying desperately to ignore the tears pricking the corners of his eyes and his heart which weighs as much as a boulder pounding painfully in his chest. He closes his eyes. ‘I don’t need them. I don’t need anyone. As long as I have Mother and Father it’ll be okay. I’ll ascend again, yeah that’ll show those two.’ he thinks as he slowly drifts into a deep slumber. 

Creak...Swish...Creak...Sway.  
Xie Lian awakes a second time to the faint sound of something swaying in the wind. He thinks nothing of it wondering why Feng Xin didn’t wake him only to quickly remember that he’s been abandoned again. He stands groggily thinking ‘Why didn’t Mother or Father wake me? At this rate even if I leave now it’ll be after dark before I can get Father’s medicine and get back here.’ He rubs his bleary eyes and opens his door. He doesn’t even get the chance to take two steps out of his door when he sinks to the floor in horror and sorrow. 

There, hanging from the rafters of the old beaten down cottage, sway the corpses of his parents. He cannot breathe as his mind blanks. “Why, why, WHY!!” He cries loudly rushing up to pull at the hems of his parents' robes. “Why would you leave me?! You were all I had left!” his sobs grew louder and more uncontrolled the longer he stood there. His cries go on for so long he begins to forget how long it’s even been. 

The longer he cries the less he can think of anything other than the corpses of his parents swaying above his head and how this could only be his fault. Eventually, it becomes unbearable. He stands on the table and wraps the remaining end of the silk band his parents used to hang themselves around his neck. And he falls. The world dims around him. 

He jerks upright in his bed hands frantically gripping at his throat as he gasps for air. His body trembles violently as he comes to. A nightmare, it was just a nightmare. Well more like a reoccurring memory that’s been plaguing his dreams for well over a millennium. He still can’t shake the feeling of Ruoye tied around his throat or the horror that chilled his bones the moment he walked out of his room that morning.

It’s too much. The memory is too painful for his fragile hear to bear. He needs a way to release the burning ache in his chest. He knows how to relieve the ache. He learned how to alleviate it long ago. He had been alone for around 100 years at the time when the weight of everything he’s done came crashing down on him again. He couldn’t bear it. And he couldn’t die, he didn’t know how to make it better. 

He unconsciously reached for Fang Xin running his fingers along the sharp blade of the sword. “Ouch!” He said as one of his fingers pressed down a bit to hard and was cut by the blade. As he watched the blood drip slowly from the tip of his finger onto the floor beneath him he realized the pain made the ache in his heart feel better. It made him feel lighter and more in control than he has ever felt before. He grabbed Fang Xin tightly in one hand and ran the blade slowly along his arm. Thus started over a millennium of self-inflicted pain. 

Drip. Drip. Drip.  
Xie Lian sits within the bathtub staring blankly at the tiny drops of blood forming and trickling down from the horizontal lines decorating the pale skin of his arms. He laughs bitterly watching as the skin heals itself as if nothing was ever there, to begin with. 

‘Some god I am’ He thinks to himself looking at the pitiful state he’s currently in. An immortal seeking comfort in the form of pain. How much lower could he sink? His friends abandoned him, the heavens cast him out, his parents killed themselves because they couldn’t bear the sight of their pathetic excuse for a son, and he has no one to blame but himself. ‘Why, why did I have to be so naive then. Why did I think I could save them all. Why was I so stupid to believe that I had the strength to carry the weight of an entire kingdom packed so full of innocent lives on my shoulders..’ 

Xie Lian’s thoughts spiral downwards fast, his breathing becomes heavy and his heart races, tears begin to prick at the corners of his eyes. He begins to sob loudly whilst tugging harshly at his long chestnut locks ‘Maybe they’d still be alive if I hadn’t intervened. Maybe Mu Qing and Feng Xin wouldn’t have left if I hadn’t been so foolish, so naive. Maybe Mother and Father wouldn’t have had to suffer to the point of ending their own lives if I hadn’t been such a worthless son.’ he gasps loudly and sinks further into the water of the tub. ‘Maybe things would’ve been better had I never been born’. Xie Lian chuckles. ‘How pathetic’ he thinks. 

Xie Lian presses a hand firmly to his chest in a weak attempt to calm his raging heart. “Get a hold of yourself. You should be used to being alone, used to being so worthless. It’s always been just you from the moment you were born, only you. This is your fate so just accept it and quit being weak.” He scolds himself out loud while standing to exit the tub. 

He pounds his fist on his chest a few times to steady his shaking heart.”Just get a grip on yourself you can’t change the past so stop hoping that it will just magically go away and things will get better. It won’t happen. Get your head out of the clouds. No one is gonna come to see you, they don’t want to see you, you’ll only bring them hardship.” He says before turning to look at himself in the mirror of his bathroom. His eyes land on the cursed shackle around his neck and he lets yet another bitter chuckle escape his pale lips before turning away and grabbing a towel to dry himself off. ‘Why did it become like this?’ he thinks to himself gently drying his waist-length locks with the towel. He sighs again realizing going down that train of thought is pointless and walked to his room to get dressed. 

2002 years he’s been alone. Not once has Mu Qing or Feng Xin come to see him, none of the other heavenly officials have even cared enough about him to check if he’s still alive after all these years. He’s been completely alone, collecting scraps and doing odd jobs just to get by. Even if someone should talk to him they never stick around for long, no one ever does. They all flicker by in the blink of an eye as if they were never there, to begin with. 

He’s become used to the silence that accompanies him everywhere he goes but a small part of him still holds tightly to the hope that one day someone will come for him, that someone will care for him, that someone will stay. But the bigger part of Xie Lian knows that this is but a puerile dream that he shouldn’t hold onto for it will only bring him pain and make the loneliness unbearable. 

‘2002 years’ Xie Lian chuckles. ‘I should stop hoping for anyone to show up. It really is childish of me.’ Xie Lian looks towards the clock on the wall in his bedroom as he closes his closet and sighs. “Time to begin another day of work it seems,” he says aloud and wistfully glances at his bed wishing nothing more than crawl back underneath those warm comforting covers and let them consume him whole. Turning away from his bed he grabs his keys and exits his room to start another day of grueling work at the landscaping business in his city. 

“XIE LIAN” His boss yells at him the moment he enters the building. “YOU’RE 10 MINUTES LATE. EXPLAIN YOURSELF!! I DIDN’T HIRE YOU JUST TO HAVE YOU LAZE AROUND AND NOT SHOW UP!!!” She bellows and she stomps her way towards him.  
Xie Lian can only smile politely and make up a pitiful excuse in hopes of escaping her wrath.  
“Sorry Mrs.Han traffic was bad today and my bus ran late on top of it. It won’t happen again.” He bows his head slightly.  
Nodding her head she sighs calming down a bit. “Don’t let this happen again.”  
“Yes, ma’am” he replies softly turning to go clock in.  
“Not so fast I need to brief you on the next job you’ll be taking. Follow me” she said as she walked back towards her office. 

Xie Lian follows behind her quickly with his head down to avoid making any eye contact with any of the other employees, trying to remain as invisible as he can after being yelled at by his boss. Entering the office he softly closes the door behind him and takes a seat in front of her as she pulls a file from her desk. 

“For your next job I’m assigning you the Shi’s, They’re a wealthy family that has lived here for quite some time and they need their gardens re-done since they’re having a party to celebrate their youngest son's birthday. As you can probably already tell from what I said pleasing them is very important to me so. Don’t. Screw. This. Up. Got it?” She says staring at him like he’s a child who needs to have everything put simply for him to understand it. 

He nods softly. “Yes, ma’am.”  
He gets up to leave and opens the door before he’s stopped by Mrs.Han again. “And Xie Lian. Do try and be on time when heading to this job. Our company really wouldn’t survive should we upset the Shi’s.” she says before dismissing him to go.

An hour later Xie Lian arrives at the Shi residence looking at the glamorous estate in awe. A tall pitch-black stone fence surrounded the exterior of the estate will a guarded gate opening to a long stone path with Japanese Maples lining the path. As Xie Lian walked up the path his eyes fell upon the marble fountain in the center of the courtyard. It was crafted beautifully surrounded by Eastern Redbuds and Maples with leaves as red as blood. It was a breathtaking sight that caused Xie Lian to wonder exactly why he was needed here when the landscaping was already so gorgeous. 

He continued towards the estate it was built to look like a traditional Chinese estate reminding Xie Lian of the houses he stayed in back when he was still the Crown Prince of Xian Le. He quickly shook the thoughts of the past out of his head and walked to the door knocking firmly against it. The door was abruptly flung open almost smacking him as a woman dressed in robes hurriedly pulled him in. 

“You must be the one from Han’s Land Scaping right? I’m Shi Qing Xuan! A pleasure to meet you…” her voice trailed off as she took a good look at Xie Lian?  
“NO WAY ARE YOU THE LAUGHIN- I mean the Flower Crown Martial God of Xian Le?” Qing Xuan questioned with a look of excitement in their eyes.  
He shook his head. ‘What luck I have. I’m forced to do these jobs to get by and now I’m stuck working for a heavenly official no less. I guess I really can sink lower than I already have.’ “Yes... that's me..” He replied quietly.  
Shi Qing Xuan grabbed his arm again and began dragging him towards the back yard. “Hurry, hurry! We got so much to plan and do today.” They exclaimed with a smile on their face causing Xie Lian to halt in his step and blink in confusion.  
“You… you aren’t bothered that it’s me who came?” he asked tilting his head to the side in confusion. 

“No of course not why would I be?” They said cheerfully. “You seem like a nice guy so I don’t see any reason to have a problem with you” They tugged his arm pulling him to the backdoor before dragging him out to a gazebo where two other figures were sitting and having tea in silence. Well one of them was having tea the other was cramming his face full of sweets like they would disappear if he didn’t eat them fast enough.

“MING-XIONG, SHI-XIONG LOOK IT’S XIE-XIONG!! HE’S COME TO LANDSCAPE FOR US!!” Shi Qing Xuan proclaimed thrusting him forth in front of the other two. The one drinking tea calmly sat his cup down and wiped his lips with a napkin while the other continued stuffing his face paying no mind to anything else going on.

Xie Lian bowed respectfully. “Sorry to intrude like this. I was sent By Ms.Han herself to come do this job. If it bothers you that it’s me I can return and have her send someone else.”  
“Nonsense it’s not a problem at all so long as you can do your job properly. I’m Shi Wu Du and the one obscenely stuffing his face is He Xuan. A pleasure to make your acquaintance Your Highness.” He said reaching out to shake Xie Lian’s hand.  
Xie Lian bowed politely once more and shook his hand. “It’s a pleasure to meet you as well. Shall we get started?” He asked looking up at Shi Wu Du waiting to be instructed on what it was he needed to do. 

They all motioned for him to have a seat with them and begin discussing the details of what kinds of supplies, flowers, and decorations Xie Lian would need and a budget for all of it. Once everything was figured out they sent him on his way to plan how everything would be arranged and get the things he needs. Xie Lian sighed inwardly as he realized that because of how long the meeting ran with the Shi’s he was going to have to walk home because he had missed the last bus back to his house.

He trudged along for miles wishing that he had saved up for a car as he planned to so he wouldn’t be stuck in this situation every time he missed his bus. ‘Could be worse’ He thought. ‘It could be raining’ just as he finished that thought it was as though the heavens were mocking him as a torrential began pouring from the sky soaking him to the bone as he ran the rest of the way back home. ‘Man… What a day…’

**Author's Note:**

> So for the next chapter, I was thinking of either switching to Hua Chengs p.o.v to introduce him or continuing with Xie Lian working for SWD, SQX, and HX but idk which one to do or really where I want to go with this. If you guys who have read it have any suggestions leave them in the comments because feedback is greatly appreciated also if there are any typos lemme know so I can fix them. Thank you to everyone who has read this so far I love you all I never really expected anyone would read this at all due to my poor writing skills and inability to properly express things.


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